it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
