So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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