She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Randomize
