Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
