Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will pee on everything he values.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize