You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
