Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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