Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
