you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
