You can't motorboat a personality
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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