Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
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Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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