he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
