I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I want to be your penis for a week.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
