Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
