i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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