In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
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