We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
