I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
