how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
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