I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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