Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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