it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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