9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I'm at about main and main street
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
