these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
