Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
