life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
The convent might be a nice break from real life
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