it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
