frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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