I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
