nut hugger
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Randomize
