I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
being pregnant is like rehab
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize