That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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