why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
don't judge my taste in strippers
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
