i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
