So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
