I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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