I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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