Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
handjob tips. give me some.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
We are two peas in an std pod
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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