sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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