the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize