no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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