Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
