She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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