The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
