Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
