omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
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