have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize