Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
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