you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
