i wish peter jackson would direct porn
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
