M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
