Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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