he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
