Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
