I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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