Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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