He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
be right there i have to get my cape
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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