my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
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you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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