I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
