somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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