i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
