great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
