you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize